Some mornings, in that fuzzy time as I'm moving from sleep to wakefulness, I feel an old familiar heaviness. It's not exactly sadness, or fear, or dread....and yet it is all of those things in a kind of wordless, physical sensation. If you have suffered trauma, neglect, or abuse you are probably familiar with this experience. What can cause this reaction? Sometimes it only takes a word, a look, an embarrassment, or an affront to trigger these feelings. (Or maybe too much pizza the night before).
When this happens to me, my first foggy reaction is usually, "Ugh, I don't want to get up. I can't deal with this today. Just let me hide under the covers and make the world go away." I used to try to figure out why I felt so bad. I'd feel like a failure, broken, impaired, and ashamed of my weakness. I'd berate myself or try to "psyche" myself up to face the day.
But, I've found a wonderful, new technique that dispels the gloom EVERY TIME! On those days that I wake up all sloggy and down, I still have my little "Ugh" reaction, but now, instead of struggling, I start saying "thank you." Really. It's as simple as that. I think of what I am grateful for, and I begin to speak sentences like; "I'm so grateful that _____," and "Thank you, Lord, for _____," etc.
Here are two of my favorites which you might find amusing.
1. Thank you, Lord, for giving me a strong body.
(I'm a short little overweight 63 year old woman with Hepatitis C, breast cancer, psoriasis, and who knows what else!).
2. I'm so grateful that I have a wonderful, comfortable home.
(We live in a 1000 square ft. house filled with mis-matched furniture, 2 cats, and aging appliances).
And I mean every word of it! It makes me smile. I take a deep breath, and then I'm ready to face the new day.
I'm sharing this because I think it might work for everyone. If the early morning "dreads" are just relics of old thought processes or the very understandable reflections of past traumas, then we don't need to analyze them or give them much space or consideration. These vague, unbidden emotions can be gently pushed aside and then we will have more energy, and be better prepared to deal with and learn from the real issues of the day.
So, give it a try.......and give me feedback. Wishing you many happy wakings!!
I enjoyed your thoughts. It is always better to think of the things we can be grateful for rather than whine in our minds over the things that we don't have. A positive attitude is a work in progress--way to go Sharon
ReplyDeleteI used to do a "Things That Made Me Smile" post on my blog on a regular basis--I think I need to get back into the practice of gratitude.
ReplyDeleteI've just found your blog and am waiting for the time and quiet to hungrily devour it. Your story is all too familiar to me. Come visit me on my blog sometime!
Beautifuldreamer--Just found your blog and I look forward to exploring it as well. Looks terrific!!
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