So, what does it feel like to be a person with childhood sexual abuse in their resume? I have some experience with the subject. I was used by a real, live pedophile for several years, I suffered incest at the hands of my father, and I even bore my dad's baby. So I've got creds. Let me tell you how it feels to me right now.
After 50 years of "life after abuse" and 5 years of therapy, I'm doing quite well. I'm feeling optimistic about my future, I have an honest and open relationship with my husband, and I don't struggle with anger, fear, or loneliness like I have in the past. I haven't quite gotten a handle on the whole "food for comfort" thing, I remain a little secretive and isolated, and I still minimize praise and maximize criticism that I receive. I can be clever, energetic, a problem solver, and a generous, non-judgemental listener. I can also be remote, self involved, and overly concerned with other people's perceptions of me. My boundaries are better, but I still tend to be either too open about my feelings or too guarded and superficial.
It's my understanding that all of these responses are typical of people who were unfortunate enough to have been inducted into the Childhood Sexual Abuse Club. Check out the TAALK website. It has great information about how this thing effects folks. It can help you understand. It can help you know you're not alone.
It must have been a real challenge for you to gain this optimistic attitude about your future. I’m happy to hear that you’ve started a whole new life, a better and happy one after the incident. I hope other children who are also victims of sexual abuse will have the same perspective about life, just like you. I wish you a joyful life with your husband!
ReplyDeleteThank you, Vesta. I feel fortunate to have been given the tools to survive and thrive. It's why I write--so that others can be encouraged.'
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