A REALLY BIG SECRET!!!

I've read that you must post to your blog often or folks will get bored and wander off.  Wouldn't want that to happen!  Sooooo, I'll share with you the current theme at my house and in my head this week.

I talk about secrets because I learned what a burden they can be and how wonderful it is to be free of them.  There is, however, a gigantic secret held by healing survivors that none of us wants to talk about.  Here it is -- because of the trauma and the breach of trust, we have spent our lives pretending to be normal, trying to live like everyone else, to be productive, creative, caring, and responsible.  But, we just can't do it!  We have issues with food, drugs, depression, self esteem, intimacy, boundaries, and trust, and they have affected our choices and made us significantly different than what we could have been. 

Here's where the secret comes in.  When people hear someone say, "I can't..., I'm limited..., I'll never...,  it makes them uncomfortable and they want to shout, "Yes, you can!!"  Survivors feel exactly the same way.  We don't want to admit that we're broken, impaired, or limited.  We're ashamed of what we haven't accomplished, the potential we did not live up to.  We don't want to admit it, we don't want to hear it from our fellow survivors, and we're pretty sure that you don't want to hear it either...so we keep silent....again. 

Of course, there really are things that we will never be able to do as others can.  I, for example, will never fully trust an authority figure.  I will have trouble with intimacy.  I will feel threatened by anyone who tries to persuade me in any way.   We all in this life must struggle to maintain that delicate balance between accepting our limitations and striving to be our best.  It's my goal to live my life as honestly and as courageously as I can.  That's what I'd call a successful and victorious life!

COURAGE - mental or moral strength to venture, persevere, and withstand danger, fear, or difficulty (Courage implies firmness of mind and will in the face of danger or extreme difficulty)

VICTORY - achievement of mastery or success in a struggle or endeavor against odds or difficulties.

Webster's Ninth New Collegiate Dictionary
Mirriam Webster, 1983